deviant art

Deviant Login
Buy Art Buy adCast Buy Premium Membership
Shop		  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
I have your number, SeabirdHis bathroom is small and bleak. The mirror
shows your reflection in seven colors which
haven't been named on the red-blue-yellow
spectrum. Your eyes are shaking like eggs
and he hasn't said your name in a year. You
think of everything he calls you: Jay, Jaybird,
Rose if he's playful. He told you particles of
every man he's slept with are in the carpet
when he pulled your head back to look into
your pupils. Your eyes are black. They run,
raw and rotten from fluorescence overhead.

He told you the shrooms weren't the same.
If you don't like LSD, you might feel better
trying something more natural. It grows
like marijuana: from the ground. But
what comes is better than what came beforea man, once,
of whom i am quite fond
for his green eyes
and olivine
skin,
came up to me and inquired
how he might look
with the barrel of a gun
in his mouth.

i said,
well,
you have
the cheekbones for it,
but i think
perhaps
you'd look better at
the bottom of the ocean
or with a rope around your
neck.

better still,
i continued,
lulled safely to sleep
in my arms
on a warm afternoon,
cherry red
lipstick stains
on your forehead

and
maybe even
a cat
on your lap.
i will rest by the river and bloomi have eaten so many cherries i have lost count,
my fingers bundled up with their stems, my teeth aching.
with the fruit flesh still threaded around them, the seeds
look like little organs, little stone hearts:
i eat them all, every one. maybe they will hatch in my stomach
like bitter eggs, and a thousand hundred giant trees will
grow slowly though my stomach and my bloodstream, maybe they will
burst up and out through my mouth. i will be a bleeding flowerpot,
a forest floor with shoes, an incubator. i will be the zombie
apocalypse of cherry trees. i will grow my wooden teeth through the roof.
my bad decisions will touch the sky.
JuniorFinally, an upperclassman
The year seems to fly by
As you wait for the coveted title of Senior
But you feel stuck
As your boyfriend is off at college
Experiencing
And you are still here
Waiting
And you want him to come back
And you hope he comes back
So you get promise rings
So he has to promise to come back
And sometimes he comes back every weekend
And sometimes not for a month
And sometimes promises are broken
And you are up until the early morning
Fighting
Meanwhile, you are suddenly aware of how
Different you are from everyone
All your friends are picture-perfect
Cookie-cutter representations of
The Ideal Teenager
And every morning, you
ForevermoreForevermore
 
I dream of dying in infinitum.
Queen of HypocrisyVixen, vixen, pretty little vixen. Why you be vexin'? You think you're so stunning, you think you're so mighty,
you think you're so clever, but really you're so naughty.
With coat as red as flame, and the visage of friendly appeal, you draw people in close
just so you could make them burn and kneel. Why, vixen, why are you so mean?
Do you really think so low of yourself you have to demean?

You speak philosophically, you speak like a sage, but your words are lies woven by the deranged.
You're modest upon sight, I'll give you that, but once people think they know you,
you strike and bite. You can't stand to be questioned, you have to be
Winter PactBeneath the firmament of a dull white sky,
Three sons of the Earth trudged forth to a snowy hilltop,
So that the foremost among them may cry-
“Old Man Winter!”
“Old Man winter!”
“Why must ye be so bitter!?”
“My sons are fatigued and my daughters are cold,”
“They suffer from the wrath of your ire,”
“I would ask that your transgressions against us,”
“Cease if I may be so bold!”
 
A grey cloud formed in the sky,
Shifting itself into an old man’s face,
That was quick to reply-
“My transgressions shall not cease,”
“And you may not be s
FakeIn my mind,
I see the light.

The light shines in my eyes,
Causing me to be blind.

The blindness makes me see things,
Things like the future.

I feel dizzy,
My world is turning.

I see the light,
It blinks in my vision.

Oh, how I could’ve been good for you,
Don’t be so cruel to me.

People crowd around,
I want to see what’s going on.

Alas, I see a dreadful thing,
A boy is crying.

People are laughing,
Picking on him because he’s weak.

I push through the crowd,
Extending a hand towards him.

He smiles, grins with tears in his eyes,
He grabs my hand.

I pull him up and hug him,
I’m finally wanted.

lily pads.I let you crack me open
and allowed your sadness
to fill my empty chest.

Tears; like sea salt
on my ribcage–

From the nourishment  
of your remorse,
flowers began to bloom
inside the crevice
of my breastbone.
The Stage of LifeThe lights flare up,
glaring at me,
accusing me;
sirens screaming their judgements.

I stand in front of the light,
made up on the stage of life.
The gun's in my hands,
the body's on the ground,
the blood's decorating the floor.

Tired, rehearsed shouts echo,
"You have the right to remain silent..."
"Please, son, can you tell me you didn't do it..?"
"anything you say can and will be used against you..."
"You've always been such a good boy,
tell the policeman the truth..."
"You're innocent until proven guilty."

You want the truth?
That wasn't in the script,
honesty was never written...

Do you expect me to spill,
explode with all these secret
Elements of ChangeWhat is it that makes this different?
Is the air different?
      What fills my lungs, is that the change?
What in this is not the same?
Is it the way my hair falls?
      What brushes my shoulders, is that the change?
What holds the alteration?
Is it in the steps down the street?
      What moves my being, is that the change?

No.
Tick tockTick tock

Time is running out.

Don't you dare waste it.

Doesn't matter if you look.

Up,down left or right.

Won't cheat this time.

Stuck on a question I see.

Didn't you studied last night?

Tsk, tsk shame on you.

You see,i'm the clock that's hangs in every classroom.

Tick tock I am the clock.

Should I slow down for your sake?

Need more time?

No can do!

I wont wait for you.

I go slow, when you don't want to.

I go fast when you desperately need more.

Isn't it funny?

To see all your faces.

Stressing

Working

Nervous

And confused.

Tick tock minutes are seconds now.

Better scribble down your last answers

For I declare it is o
the writer's diseasemy conversations become
blurs of i-miss-you's
littered on the cold floor of empty promises.
you deserve something more than
silhouettes of words, casting shadows onto my heart
filling it with tricks of light
that try to hide away the darkness.

sit down and stay for a while--
except i'm going to go
because i never learned how to keep
the beautiful things
for more than a little at a time;

i'm left chain smoking words like cigarettes
one word after the other after the other,
exhaling them all with my cancer
and my thick, black lungs.

and they say a cigarette takes seven minutes
from your life--
yet these words take memories from mine,
str
TonightBlood-lust
Calls for war.
Swords and spears alike are
Sharp with eager destruction;
They rise into the air
In a sea of molded
Silver
While drunken
Monsters and men
Battle it out on the bloodstained
Battlefield,
Where death is as common
As a breath of rancid air.
And tonight,
Above the massacres,
The moon shines as
Bright as a supernova,
Burning up the sky with
It's flaming light.
It calls for howls of pain and fear
From the soldiers down
Below.
And tonight,
Drinking moonshine,
Even the werewolves will cry.
Story of Evil (Fairy Tail Ver)Hey guys! Haven't published something in ages! IM STILL ALIVE XD. I wanted to start a new story, even though I have like 4 other stories to do, I will be updating them very soon, maybe tomorrow. I will give you some info about my other stories.
The Demon boy and The Girl- Is still alive, I have written the chapter, but haven't got around uploading it. GOMENASAI .

Anyways... onto this one. I've been obsessed with Kagamine Rin and Len, well for a long time. And I LOVE THE STORY OF EVIL (if you dunno them, its like a bunch of songs that makes a sad story that I love) and I decided, why not make a Fairy Tail ver.
I've been in love with the songs
Browse More Like This
Download File
TXT, 676 bytes more ▶

More from ~TheAncientShaman

Featured in Groups:

:icontheinvisibleartists: #TheInvisibleArtists
100+ MEMBERS! YEAH!

Details

January 23
676 bytes
Sta.sh
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 3
Favourites: 2 [who?]


Views: 887 (0 today)
Downloads: 12 (0 today)

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
[x]

What does it mean ?that's what

:icontheancientshaman:

What does it mean ?that's what I'd like to know.
The strings that hold the physical could they be the thoughts piercing at the open sore that is my active imagination?

The day is cool and bitter like being soaked in gasoline, the sun takes turns peeking through clouds, only to shine its light on the cities of men, its power lines constrict the people's weak and worried minds. Outside the limits beyond the cattle guard one can see the night and loaded skies,

I dare not worry for the fallen mind, iv got my own to wich I cope...
:iconsabasreflection:
Critique by ~SabasReflection Feb 24, 2013, 6:56:56 AM
Although this is a short narrative, I like the perspective discussed here. I like how you don't specifically refer to what you're talking about, enabling the reader to use their imagination and arrive at an interpretation of their own. The question at the beginning, though simple, is quite engaging because it prompts the reader to wonder what 'it' is and what 'it' means. Questions are a good device to employ if you want to include the reader, and it's an excellent starter for your narrative. I like to think that the rest of your narrative relies on abstract concepts, while continuing the vagueness of your question.

The second line seems to be a complex metaphor which I think you could simplify slightly. However I like how vague it is and this obscurity is a nice theme in the narrative. I also believe that the narrative overall could benefit from correct grammar and spelling. The second line would be easier to read if you indicated that it is two sentences with a period/full stop somewhere (or even a ';' would do nicely after "the strings that hold the physical").

"The day is cool and bitter like being soaked in gasoline" is a wonderful comparison and simile. Furthermore I like the personification of the sun with its turn-taking. This second paragraph is my favourite aspect of the narrative because I enjoy the abstract descriptions.

The last sentence has a lot of impact for me, because you draw attention back to yourself by admitting that your mind is, too, fallen. Personally this narrative has vision, originality and impact. However it lacks technique because of incorrect grammar and spelling. If this is revised, you could have a short and bittersweet piece on your hands (unless you purposefully decided to use grammar and spelling which is lacking; therefore it is up to you whether you want to fix things!).
What do you think?
Fair Unfair
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.
1 Reply

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconriku8406:
~Riku8406 Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
that's amazing.
Reply
:icontheancientshaman:
~TheAncientShaman Mar 24, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
im glad you appreciated it :) watch me 4 future writings
Reply
:iconriku8406:
~Riku8406 Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
maybe i will then.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
©2013 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Developers | Careers | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Premium Membership Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy